Happy-making

Recently I've been paying more attention to the little everyday pleasures that make me happy, and I thought I'd share some of them here.

First, though, the biggest happy-making news:

 Last Thursday, March 27th, I was given the gift of a brand new niece! 

Margaret Auburn Rose was born, healthy and strong, at midday in Spokane, Washington. She is the first child of my brother and sister-in-law and the first grandchild on both sides. There was a lot of jumping for joy, and many many happy tears, and a huge amount of relief on my sister-in-law's behalf after the four days (!!) of labor. As you might imagine, I can hardly wait to meet little Margaret and it's suddenly extra frustrating to live 450 miles away! However, I am heading up on April 16th, when my brother goes back to work, to help out for a good long stretch and be there for her Christening on Easter Sunday. A week and a half until then, and I am practically counting down the minutes.

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Now then: here are a few little everyday things that have been making me happy of late:

Finally branching out from my usual bread making routine

 Delicious smoothies to use up last summer's frozen berries (made using my immersion blender)

Flowers inside.

QI.

My favorite houseplant, steadily wending its way around my east-facing window with a strand of yarn for a trellis. 

 PG Tips with sugar, milk and fresh mint.

Internet Again

When I moved into my apartment a year ago (really? a year? yep.), I decided not to get internet at home, as I was both poor and in need of as much serenity as I could find. To be honest, I've loved not having internet at home. I'm still poor, of course, but I'm now back in the land of wireless at home, for a variety of reasons.

Oddly, the things I missed most without it did not include the ability to look anything up at a moment's notice, or watching things via the internet. It became an easy routine to write things down, and look them up during a free moment at work, or during the next trip to the library, and with the Netflix DVD plan and an excellent public library system, I didn't miss out on movies or TV shows. Mostly, I missed listening to things. I have lots of good music on my computer, and the ability to listen to the radio via my iPod, but in the last few months I've really found myself yearning for the ability to stream back-to-back episodes of my favorite radio programs, and missing my Pandora stations with a passion. I could take my laptop to the library and download the most recent This American Life episode or one story at a time from The Moth, but I was getting a little greedier than that. (I'm still smart phone-free, so no ability to download things that way either).

I've also really missed being able to spend spare minutes on blogging and actually commenting on other peoples' blogs, rather than passively reading. I think this change will enable me to be a bit more active in that realm, although I'm pretty sure I've said things like that before, so we'll see. I have sorely missed the ability to take pictures, upload them, and put them straight into a post, without having to wait a day or five until the next library run. 

Besides the desire to mix up my listening habits and reinvigorate my blog, the ability to job search from home will make a big difference these days (that job search...yeah. Slow and frustrating are the two adjectives that come to mind.). Lastly, and most self-indulgently, I will be having surgery this Friday (nothing too major, don't worry), and the idea of being laid up at home for a week or two with limited options for entertainment does not really appeal to me. Hence, internet.

Last, but certainly not least, I once again have the ability to Skype and Facetime with far-off friends, something I have very much missed.

I'm hopeful that the habits I've developed while living without internet at home will stick with me after this transition. Or, more accurately: I hope I will have the willpower to maintain my minimal internet habits from now on. I used to waste hours getting sucked into YouTube and Wikipedia when I could be active and productive, and I will be moving forward with the intention of using internet predominantly for listening, not watching (I can achieve so much while listening, but nothing while watching), and hopefully my main activities apart from email will be job searching, recipe and knitting pattern discovery, and blogging. I'm not setting up Netflix streaming, but just keeping the DVD plan. And while I usually watch movies in bed (I don't have a couch), the rule I'm setting for myself is that I can't use the internet while in bed, unless I am sick/laid up for some reason.

So, I found a basic wireless plan for $30 a month, received my router and set it up with minimal cursing but a week's delay as the company had to fix an outside cable, and I'm actually posting this from home.

It's been a good journey, this one. I much prefer my low-internet habits and outlook, and I feel so much better about life when time spent on the internet is for practical and intentional reasons, rather than the time suck of 'I'll just watch this one video' which then turns into another hour burned. We'll see how it goes this time around.

By the Sisters

The four days after my birthday were spent in the Three Sisters Wilderness in Central Oregon, in the company of an excellent gentleman friend and some absolutely stellar scenery. For many years I've wanted to hike at least a short stretch of the Pacific Crest National Scenic Trail, and that has now happened. Backpacking in the high country comes with so many things you can't get anywhere else: perfectly clear alpine lakes, the fresh and bracing feel of the clean mountain air, picking huckleberries for breakfast every morning, the peace of no cell phones or computers, let alone the noise of traffic or neighbors; just birdsong, breezes, crickets, fish jumping and deer snorting in the night. Wildlife sightings included adorable pikas, deer, fat toads, curious chipmunks, hawks and many kinds of birds, and wacky big crickets climbing around on the tent at night. Perfect weather, almost no bugs, and the only blemish on the thing was the fact that I got horrific blisters on both heels on the second day and had to finish the trip in my Keens. The whole thing was wonderful, but perhaps my favorite moment was perching on a rock in the morning sunshine at a ridgetop campsite, journal on my lap and pen in my hand, soaking up 360 degrees of stunning scenery and unable to think of any other location I'd rather be.

The chaos of packing.

The view from the first night's campsite.

Later, a mountain was discovered across the lake as the clouds cleared.

Skinnydipping in this lake may or may not have occurred...

On the Pacific Crest Trail in front of the South Sister.

An obsidian floe, sparkling in the bright sunshine. 

The Middle Sister.

Man with a map.

Granola and fresh huckleberries, eaten sitting on a fallen log: truly the breakfast of champions. 

Have you ever seen a cooler campsite? Yeah, me neither. 

Broken Top across the Wickiup Plains. 

Let's go back again soon, shall we?

My Brain on Budgets

I seem to always fall into this pattern with budgeting, where I am really good about sticking to my budget for a couple of months, and then start to feel really restricted by it and begin to deviate. This has happened before, and is exactly what happened this time: I did great with my budget for February and March, but then started to get stir-crazy and and want a little more freedom with my spending. I got a big injection of financial aid at the end of March, plus I'm getting a sizeable tax refund this year (yay!) so I don't feel too bad about spending a little extra lately, but mentally it's something I struggle with. I never spend beyond my means, and I always have a reserve for emergencies or what-have-you, but it bothers me that it is such a struggle mentally for me to stick to a preordained budget for more than a couple months. Does anyone else have this problem?

Even with going out a little more, I haven't strayed from my regular bread-baking habits.

I'm aware that the budget I put myself on starting in February was very small, but needed to be at that time. But now I'm wondering if I need to just make peace with the fact that I have a hard time abiding by a strict budget for long periods of time, and maybe I need to regularly revisit my spending every couple of months and modify it to whatever my current situation is, and operate on that basis rather than some preset level of spending. Sometimes it works really well for me to live off of the bare minimum, but sometimes it makes me feel a little crazy. Lately, with a little extra income, I've been able to treat myself to a couple more expensive things that I've been waiting on for awhile, like a new camera! Until now I've been using the one Matt's dad loaned to me three years ago, and I need to give it back. I am not concerned that I have been spending irresponsibly; I am hyper-aware of my finances in general, have been making payments on my student loans even though I don't have to yet, have been making contributions to my IRA whenever possible, and keeping my utility costs very low. My student loans are the only debt I have--my credit card gets paid off every month.

Maybe part of it is that my life is in, or is approaching, a state of transition, where I'll be making the move into an actual career and ideally a full-time job with a solid income which will make things considerably easier, and I'm a little impatient to get there. This last year has been one of a part-time income, moving and moving expenses, financial aid disbursements every three months, and thus a lack of regularity to both income and spending. I'm just in a weird place where I feel a little guilty about spending extra and going out more, but am also feeling gratified by the results of that spending and I'm not totally sure how to reconcile those things.

 I'm not sure there's a moral to this post. I just wonder if this is something that all people trying to live frugally struggle with, or if this just has something to do with my general tendency to get stir-crazy and need to change things up (this would explain why I've moved so many different times and had so many different jobs). Anyone have any insights?

Around Here Lately

I feel like without a full-on garden or animals or much space, I don't have nearly as much to write about as I used to. I miss the chickens like crazy some days. And the fresh, beautiful eggs. Someday again I will have that. But for now, I am valuing the simplicity of my life on my own. As I told my parents a couple nights ago, there is something very comforting and liberating about having your entire life contained within a 600 square foot area. All of my things fit in my apartment (even if they're wedged in weird corners), I have pared things down so I have only what I love and use, and I don't have anything tying me down (lease aside). I can be content and comfortable, but not feel trapped in any way by pets, gardens, or other obligations. Much as I love those things, right now it's nice to feel free.

My life is filled with simple meals, I'm getting a lot of joy out of cooking and getting creative with it (which is really just a fancy way of saying I'm seeing how far I can stretch my budget). It's been fun to be more aware of how one tasty ingredient can make an entire meal feel special. The other night, I splurged on a bunch of fresh cilantro at the store, and heaped up that night's simple tacos with it- that fresh tanginess makes so much difference. I've been on a major broccoli kick this winter, and last week I branched out from my usual steamed broccoli and chopped some up fine and put it in a quiche.

My space is small, so my chores are pretty simple. A good sweeping once a week is usually all that's necessary, and most of the time I do the dishes regularly, and wipe down the counters. On weekends I give the bathroom a once-over and take out the garbage and recycling. Often I can go two weeks before my kitchen trash bag is full. Lately I've had to put food scraps in the garbage, which feels terrible- but I accidentally overfed my worm bin so I'm giving them a  chance to catch up and eat everything that's already in there before I add more.

As one person, I can usually go two weeks between loads of laundry (the trick is to have enough socks and underwear to last that long). I only use the dryer if there are sheets or towels to dry, otherwise everything goes on racks in front of the heater.

I've got a new knitting project on my needles, the most complicated thing I've attempted yet. I'll get it up on Ravelry one of these days. I have another cotton dishcloth going too, small and quick. It's easier to do a few rows of that when I have a couple minutes to kill but don't want to pay close attention to what I'm doing.

On Friday night I broke out the potting soil again and got my tomatoes, peppers, brassicas, and flowers started under the lights. I forgot that I was out of planting tags, and went rifling through the cupboards to see if I had anything that would suffice- turns out a container like this one converts into tags perfectly:

Last but never least, I had my first dinner of microgreens last week! They've been growing away in their tray, and I cut off a pile to have with potatoes one night. I ate them plain and with my fingers- so delightful!

Spring Has Sprung!

I've just spent the last 5 hours in a computer lab, finishing up a big term paper and presentation. So close to the end of the quarter. Another week and a half and I'm done. As soon as I've written this, I'll be back out in the sunshine. It is gorgeous out today, and being stuck in here doing homework was pure torture. I rode my bike to campus today though, on the trail along the river in the bright sunshine. Having finished the paper (ok, just a solid draft. Still lots of work to do), my reward is the beautiful ride home.

Yesterday was just as lovely as today, and when I got home in the afternoon I went for a walk around the neighborhood with my camera, on a treasure hunt for springtime. And I found it!

Look at the fuzzy buds! Look at that sky! 

Leaves! Leavesleavesleavesleavesleaves! 

I've been walking past this tree every few days, waiting for those buds to burst open. Yesterday was the day! So much beauty. Nature does it best.  

 Spring projects getting underway down the street.

An early tulip- the only one I saw. 

After many months of waiting, it's here. Spring is here! Bright happy daffodils everywhere, and tomorrow is daylight savings! I'm SO glad (can you tell? I might not have used enough exclamation points). 

Simplicity

These last couple of months, especially since I moved into my apartment and school started back up, my instinct has been to keep things as simple as possible. I think this is born out of the fact that my life has been very emotionally trying for the last few months, and every time I think things are finally going to settle down in the emotional realm, something else crops up. I guess that's par for the course post-breakup, but it's still really hard. My whole make-a-plan-and-do-not-deviate way of handling life has changed, and certainly for the better. I still plan things out (I love my checklists), but I don't beat myself up for not following through with my plan. I am now abundantly aware that I can, without warning, be knocked down by an emotional juggernaut at the most unexpected moment. So I have learned to roll with it, and go with the flow in a way I was never able to do before. If I am suddenly ambushed by a memory or some new type of emotional fallout, it is best to drop what I am doing, process whatever it is that is going on with my emotions, and deal with that so it doesn't build up into a massive knot of anxiety. I spent far too long suppressing everything and not processing any of it; it is actually very refreshing, and far less painful, to actually be an emotional wreck for awhile, talk it out with my friends or family, work through it, and then get back to my homework or chores or whatever.

That's all a very long-winded way of saying: simple feels good, and not planning too far ahead feels good, and consciously reducing the number of complicated things in my life feels good. I am following my gut instincts much more, and only doing what actually feels right or sounds good. It also makes me realize how different my definition of simplicity is from that of many other people. For me, keeping it simple means not going out to eat, but cooking everything myself. It means taking the time to do chores like washing dishes by hand. It means not having internet at home (which I am still completely sold on- the only thing I really miss is Skyping with my overseas friends), it means not making any long-term plans. I have no idea what my life will look like after I graduate in June, and for once it feels okay to have the future be unplanned.

I am keeping my social life simple- hanging out with my friends mostly on an impromptu basis, not staying out late, and not booking myself up with obligations to do anything that doesn't sound good. I really do enjoy spending time by myself, so most of the time I don't mind just coming home at night and staying in.

One area where I've been struggling  is school. It has been incredibly hard to concentrate on my schoolwork with all the emotional mayhem racketing around in my brain. Thankfully I am only taking two courses this term, in addition to my fieldwork, and the workload is noticeably lighter than previous terms. I'm ahead on credits, so next quarter I only have to take one class (my very last!) while I finish up my fieldwork. I am very much looking forward to having less school obligations. I love learning, but it's hard when I have to balance my school requirements with the need for self-care. I find the two things are almost always mutually exclusive!

I'm moving slowly through most things- the last year of my life has been so hectic and crazy, and I never managed to be able to just sit and breathe sometimes, and write in my journal as much as I needed to, and sometimes just walk around my neighborhood simply for the sake of getting fresh air and clearing my head. I'm doing those things now, and it is very grounding and reassuring. I think I really, finally, understand the meaning of "one day at a time."